Getting Cross at the Crossing

Theme: Impatience, Frustration, Anger, Developing Awareness, Acknowledgement

Life Lessons: As I have mentioned in previous blogs, not all of my stories are about miraculous events.  But they still are God Stories because I believe they are lessons that are meant to inspire or direct me on my spiritual path. Today’s message is really down-to-earth, a situation that many of you might have encountered. I wonder if your responses were the same as mine.

Speeding along, late to my weekly meeting across town, I was worried because I still had to cross the railroad tracks of a major freight line that had exceedingly long trains. Sure enough! Just as I headed down that road, I heard “Ding, Ding, Ding!” and saw the safety gate coming down, blocking my way!

“Oh Shit!” was my obnoxious expletive. I apologize for the language, but that IS what I said – out loud!  It seemed appropriate for my mood at the time. I had no choice but to sit in the car, grumbling under my breath, as I viewed the colorful graffiti on the long line of freight cars slowly rolling along.  Minutes ticked by, but eventually I was on my way – late again. 

The following week, as I was rushing towards the crossing, I heard “Ding, Ding, Ding!” and once again, down came the gate right in front of me! I breathed out a loud sigh of frustration and resigned myself to another long wait. As I sat there, I began to think, “That wasn't a very nice word that I used last week. Perhaps I should think of something else?”  Suddenly I heard that familiar small voice in my head say,  “Why do you need to say anything?”  

This question took me by surprise but these “conversations” usually involved a lesson for me. So I answered, “Well God, the situation was very frustrating. I needed to express my anger!”              

But then I had to stop, and think,  and ask myself  – Why am I angry? - - I can't be mad at the train's engineer. -  He isn't sitting way down the track, waiting for me to come along, and then yell “Here she comes! Quick!  Put down the gate!!”                

Undeniably I was angry at something. Yes, I was angry because I was going to be late. And whose fault was that? — MINE!    Could something be done about that? — YES!!    And when I finally became aware that I was responsible for the problem AND the solution, I stopped feeling like the victim. The anger subsided. Something needed to change - and it was up to me to change it.

Now you would think, with this enlightened perspective, I would have planned to leave earlier the following week. Unfortunately, I did not change my schedule, but I did change my attitude. I was smiling as I drove within sight of the crossing in the distance.  I said, “OK God, I’m ready this time.  I know I am late, but I won’t be angry. I know who is to blame and I understand how to avoid the problem in the future.”  By now I was closing in on the crossing – but there were no bells ringing.  There were no lights flashing.  – There was NO TRAIN! -- The voice in my head gently said, “You are a fast learner…..The lesson is over.”

I believe God speaks in many ways.  The purpose of this RR crossing lesson was NOT to say, “Don’t get angry.”  The purpose was to encourage me to look at the situation and BE AWARE of the benefits or consequences of my thinking and my responses. Did I allow my anger to turn that beautiful morning into a grumpy day? How much did my irritation affect my demeanor and my productivity at the meeting?  Was I willing to accept responsibility for my reaction, or did I try to blame others? Did I look within for strength and patience when I needed it? 

When I finally stopped allowing frustration to clutter my brain, I realized I could open my mind to find guidance and peace. Hopefully I will remember this lesson as I face other challenges in the future - without having to spend time at the railroad crossing again  😀. !!   

As Maya Angelou said, “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.”

“The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. When you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as witnessing awareness - the ability to calmly and objectively be present, observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond.” Deepak Chopra

“In times of turmoil, it can be difficult to find peace. When I shift my attention away from the problem and instead focus inward on the Divine Presence, peace enfolds and soothes me. It begins as a quiet whisper in my soul and slowly builds to gratifying surrender. All is well.”   Daily Word Aug. 25, 2010